Monday, February 28, 2011

Revive DORD!

In 1939 a ghost word was outed from its hiding place on page 771 in the New Websters International Dictionary.
That word was Dord. Which had started life when the lexicon's chemistry editor used the four letters, 'D' or 'd', for a note that was an abbreviation for density in chemistry terms.
A ghost word comes into language as a typo or some other mistake.
A misinterpretation saw the note being read as Dord, meaning density. It was then registered as a noun and added at the time, where it languished for five years within the cozy D pages of the tome until it was finally noticed by a studious editor in 1939 to have no etymology and after an investigation was banished. A world war was starting and this guy was looking for obscure little D words?

Banished. But Dord was innocent. Didn't ask to be born into the respected, hallowed realm of Websters. Dord was only the Eliza Doolittle thrust into the cultured library of Professor Henry Higgins. Dord was not given the chance to become something. To be refined by 'enry 'iggens into a Fair Lady. (there was a colour in the 70s called Enry Iggins Just You White.)

Perhaps, with a little bit of luck Dord could still mean a form of density. It sounds right if we use it for a dense person, as in, "He's a dord."
And still following the density thread, it could mean an intricate entanglement. Like those financial bank criminals involved in a labyrinth of crimes. "They are in a dord of trouble."
It could mean a reverse density, like a Dalmation dog which are said to have no brains, "He's as dordy as a Dalmation."
Maybe even find it's way into song? 'Lordy Lordy Lordy you're a dordy!' What could Bob Dylan do with dord?

Whatever it is used to represent, dord should be revived. We have been unfair to it. We could refer to it right now, after all these years, as 'dormant as a dord.' But that might be cruel.
It should become the Little Word that Could. We need more four letter words, banish deutomerite if you must. It means, the posterior segment of the trophozoite of certain gregarines. .... er, no one even eats gregarines any more!

After over seventy years. dord needs to reappear. Perhaps we could elevate the poor word somehow, get Stephen Hawking to assign the meaning of a human impulse flashing across the universe as a Dord! Now that would give it dignity.

We have lost too many life things by meddling with them. Pluto is gone from our space in an unsuffering swoop. The Passenger Pigeon is extinct. Malaya, with it's wonderful suggestion of British rubber plantations and Oriental intrigue is no more. And whatever happened to Oswald Rabbit?
Other trembling dords are hiding in the crevices of our history. They don't reside on the street where you live. What's next? Being embrangled in a vilipend of fusby words?

Perhaps the niddering people who commit these indecencies should be called Dords and be banished themselves.

Revive Dord. It's important.


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Today in History - - - February 15

Canada's flag.
1965, our Maple Leaf banner was finally adopted on this day.
The description; 2 vertical bands of red (hoist and fly side, half width), with white square between them; an 11-pointed red maple leaf is centered in the white square; the official colours of Canada are red and white.

When it first came into existence, I thought it needed more colours. Blue or green to represent our three seas and constant forests. But now, whenever I travel, the red and white stands out like a beacon.  It is particularly lovely to see when you are far from home. And it is outstanding amid any crush of colour, in any congested city, easy to see, with a welcoming flutter, promising a cordial reception no matter what country I am in.
Now I can`t see our great flag being any other design or colour.

I used to live in a high rise downtown. Twenty-five stories up. I could see about 280 degrees of other buildings. I counted the red flags every few months and was always dismayed at the lack of Maple Leafs flying. We need to be more patriotic about our standard, whatever the woes of our nation, it is still the best place in the world to be.
Be proud.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

F 150 - such confusion

The Ford Motor Company believes there might be confusion between their Ford F150 pick up truck and the new Ferrari F150 formula one car.
"Ford Motor Co sued luxury automaker Ferrari on Wednesday for trademark infringement after Ferrari named its 2011 Formula 1 racing car the 'F150.'
Ferrari's F150 apparently bears striking resemblance to certain parts of the Ford F-150 pickup truck.
'Ferrari has misappropriated the F-150 trademark in naming its new racing vehicle the F150 in order to capitalize on and profit from the substantial goodwill that Ford has developed in the F-150 trademark,'  Ford said in a complaint filed in U.S. District Court in Detroit."
So .... we are to believe that someone going to buy a Ford F150 pickup might inadvertently buy a Ferrari F150 instead because of the resemblance? Well no wonder Ford is angry. 
But let's look at the comparison:
- The Ford seats 2. Or three if your girlfriend has a girlfriend and she's not too tubby. Or 14 family members if you live in Arkansas. The Ferrari only seats 1.
- The Ford will just go fast enough to bump into things. The Ferrari could shoot off into space if you press the gas pedal too hard.
- You can tailgate in the Ford on the way to work at the mill. There is no one ahead of you in the Ferrari.
- You can have your cousin? in the back playing his banjo in the Ford. Even if you could in the Ferrari, you wouldn't know what he played until you stopped and the sound caught up.
- In the Ford you'll have your possum hunting buddies growling approval and saying 'Hey.' In the Ferrari the Tifosi will worship you and be screaming bellisimo! And the Ford guys just think those Italians are gay anyhow.
- You can store your gun under the front seat of the Ford. The Ferrari won't even accommodate your Platinum American Express card.
- In the Ford you can drive over bumpy back roads just to watch your babe's boobs jiggle. No back roads for the Ferrari and when the girls flash you at Monza, you won't see them anyway.
- In the Ford you can eat burgers while driving, even if you only have 3 teeth left. In the Ferrari if you open your mouth your teeth will be sucked out the back of your head!
- In the Ford the radio only plays Willie Nelson. The Ferrari itself plays Pavarotti.
- In the Ford you can cook roadkill on the manifold and have dinner ready when you get to the bar. In the Ferrari ... er ... if you ask for blanco vino Chianti they throw you out of the bar!
- In the Ford you can lay in a sheet of plastic in the box, fill it with wet mud and have girlie fights in there. In the Ferrari ....

Well, you get the point.  The Ford wins hands down and they rightly don't want Ferrai horning in on their sales. What would happen if these F150 Ferraris became popular on Ford's name?
..... um ....
Sorry, I can't think on that any longer. But it does say something about the Ford executives who brought this lawsuit to court, and their view of their own customers. I think the Ford guys are still angry at the drive Enzo took Henry Ford II on in the sixties and made him poop his pants.
Me? I'm looking for a red Edsel.  There's no mistaking that car for ANYTHING else.
a red Ford?

Oh, by the way, the Ford costs about $40,000. , the Ferrari will set you back about 3 million. IF they'll sell you one. Hard to confuse that part.