Monday, August 25, 2008


I was looking through this blurb from my local community center. Wondering what educational or artistic things I might partake in for the indoor season of autumn and winter here.
I have always been a strong advocate of night school and community programs because they offer something for everyone to improve themselves.
Alas. Things have changed as Bob Dylan said. Now there seems little for ME to do, only for certain other people.
In the first few pages I found art for Chinese Canadians, Kababayang Pilipino dance, Mexican Altars competition, Diwali Festival workshops, Shaq'asthut Gathering Place, Fabric Messages from the Middle East, Katari Taiko music, African Dance, Dimasalang Artists, Youth Kontzert Series, and it went on from there.
There is tons of stuff if you get pregnant. And for kids. But it's not worth getting pregnant for. Babies Only Botanical Care, I'm not going there because of the images already in my mind of infants with vines growing out of their ears tending gardens.
Ah wait, here it is, adult things for me ... Knitting with Wire, hmm, since there are no more knights about to joust in the lists, I'm not sure why anyone needs to make chain mail. Wheel Throwing with Sue. She must be the champ, like how far can it roll? Sounds strenuous.
I could do Belly Dance with Venus, but they'd see the lust right away and toss me out. Reggaeton for Women, oops not for me, how to seduce a man with reggaeton body movement. But how many times can you listen to Bob Marley's Buffalo Soldier without smoking weed? Dog Obedience. Training won't stop them pooping at embarrassing moments. My dog could never digest corn.
The Buddha Within - described as Brain and Nervous System Seminar. Fiddling around with my central nervous system makes me just .... nervous. Urban Women of courage. Is that Joan of Arc complex? Urban women who stay at home to look after their own kids without killing them must quality for that one.
Ah, here we are, something just for me, Older Adult Programs. Oops, it's in Chinese. Wonder what it says? Oh darn, that's the only one under that heading.

I seem to have 5 strikes against me these days - I am not a landed immigrant, was born here in Vancouver; I am not gay; I am a non-lesbian; I am male: I am over 40, well ok, over 50; I only speak English; my heritage is white Northern European; I have no esoteric religion. (This would include the mysteries of Catholicism and Protestantaneanism.)
I guess I can look bleakly forward to another winter of surfing the web endlessly.
I AM a minority now, but I don't qualify for anything.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

American credibility

Condoleezza Rice recently said, "Russia is a state that is unfortunately using the one tool that it has always used whenever it wishes to deliver a message and that's its military power. That's not the way to deal in the 21st century."
This reptilian shape-shifter must be kept in a closet by Bush between forays into the world. She seems sublimely unaware of America and Iraq or Afghanistan. Either that or she is the ultimate hypocrite! Just transpose the word Russia to the word USA.

But wait, here's the guy who wants to be voted into the US Presidency, John McCain, "Countries don't invade other countries in the 21st century."
He seems to blink when talking like that like he's wondering where he is. I hope this 'wrinkly old white-haired Dude' goes to a nice old folks home. Paint it white so he thinks he's president, even Napoleon if he likes.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Today in History ... August 14

1900 - Some 2,000 U.S. Marines joined with European forces to capture Beijing, ending the Boxer Rebellion against the Western presence in China.
Beijing retaliated by holding the Olympic Games in 2008, luring Americans with prospects of gold, but poisoning the unsuspecting Western visitors with pollution.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Olympics closing ceremonies

A Canadian Olympic spokesperson makes a final comment to our athletes -

"We are satisfied with our (cough) efforts to compete here in China. You all did (cough) excuse me, very well. Considering.
"We're sorry that so many of you had to spend hospital time here in (cough) Pekin, Peking and Bei (cough) jing. All those who are returning to Canada on the (cough, sniff) Implant Express planes, please head out to the airport now, lungs are available back in Canada. Don't forget your oxygen tanks. (cough) You'll be able to shower safely again in Canada, try not to touch friends or loved ones until you do. And please burn your Olympic uniforms, (cough) oh sorry, I didn't mean because they were ugly, they might be contamin.... oh you know what I mean,
"Anyone standing at the back of the room who can't see me through the room mist, (cough) I hope you can hear me, Q-Tips are at the door. And those Olympic rowers who just rowed out to sea .. well, there were fresh breezes out there (cough) what can I say? We're sure our marathoners will be found soon. (cough, hack, snort, sniff cough) And we're sorry about that crash on the cycle track, where our (cough) rider got turned around the wrong way. We've dropped the protests on the track events too, (cough, cough, prolonged coughing fit) because there were no visible video (cough) recordings seen through the smog of our final positions. The infrared and heat sensing cameras were (cough, cough) okay but the Chinese disputed who the figures actually were in the 100 meter races etc. And please don't think our athletes were crying just because their eyes were like that. (cough, hack, cough, drip)
"Well until the next Olympics, thank you all ...
"er ... Anyone still here in the room? Sorry can't see anything ... Someone should really stay for the closing ceremonies.
(cough, sniff)
Anyone out there?

Friday, August 08, 2008

Vote for Paris Hilton for Pres.

Could it be any worse than it is right now? McCain uses Paris Hilton in an attack ad against Obama without her consent. This is her retaliation.

1 - 0 . . . . for Paris.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

BC Ferries

The Coastal Renaissance, the shiny new German ship built in Germany by Germans in 2007, has broken down.
The old reliable ship, the Queen of Cowichan, built in Victoria by proud British Columbians in 1976, is filling in.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Canada leads in Frankenfood secrecy

This comes under the 'Did you know?' category.
In Britain, there is controversy over the growing of open air GM (genetically modified) crops. These trial crops have always been identified as to location. However, some have been attacked by 'vandals' opposed to open air growing because there are no studies or interest for that matter, on what could happen to the environment with these Frankencrops growing adjacent to regular crops.
This has led the scientists to ask that their precious study crops be kept secret.
The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra), which licenses open air trials commented: "EU legislation says that we must disclose GM trial locations to the public. We are awaiting a European Court of Justice ruling, likely later this year, on a French legal case that should clarify how the EU law in this area can be interpreted by Member States ...
We should follow the same approach as that followed in Canada for very small scale trials of say 400 plants or so - where the risks are looked at by a panel but the location of those sites is not revealed."
Friends of the Earth in Britain, believe that the trials should be stopped altogether. " ... we don't know the impact they'll have on the environment and on health and very often these trials are not set up to look at that."

A panel? When was the last time you heard of a Canadian panel looking out for the public interest?
Nice to know that we are leading in something, isn't it. Even if it is secrecy.
Er ... isn't it?