Saturday, June 25, 2005

Today in history - - - June 25

1951 - CBS aired the first color television broadcast. At the time, no color TV sets were owned by the public.
2005 - CBS continues to air David Letterman featuring Rupert. At this time, no one thinks he is funny.

Friday, June 24, 2005

The new Volkwagen Corolla

Being the further adventures of Hans und Helmet, formerly of the BMW design section of the BMW factory, demoted because of the BMW 7 Series trunk bulge fiasco. (See the Feb 25, 2005 report on this blog) Hans und Helmet are now working for the Volkswagen factory in Wolfsburg, Germany, having been run out of Munich, and are now in charge of the introduction of the all new, improved, bigger, better, longer, lower, higher, wider, more powerful, faster Volkswagen Jetta autocar ...
Helmet: Where ist dat car? Our superiors are comink to view the new design.
Hans: Don't panik, Helmet, it ist comink.
Helmet: The Jetta has been der grosser success for Volkswagen, the new one must be better in efery way. Our new bosses are countink on it.
Hans: Ja, dis autocar vill be great, Aki ist drivink it here right now.
Helmet: Aki?
Hans: Ja, Aki. You know Aki.
Helmet: (Face beginning to flush) Nein, Hans, who ist Aki?
Hans: Aki Yamamoto, the new employee from ... er ... Berlin.
Helmet: He ist drivink it from where?
Hans: Er ... from da parkink lot, where we keep all our newest, secret autocars.
Helmet: (swallows hard, sweat beads on his forehead) What did you tell him, Hans?
Hans: (proudly) I ask him to bring up the best lookink new car in production. He ist comink now.
(Helmet stares at Hans with suspicion and apprehension. Aki arrives with a flourish, a screech and a wide grin, piloting a brand new Toyota Corolla sedan. Helmet is aghast. Aki steps out and bows to the two Germans, his inch thick glasses fall off. )
Aki: Boss, I bling best new cah for velly nice bossmen.
Helmet: (staggering backward) Oh my God, might as well be Tojo screaming kamikaze!
(A knock is heard on the door.)
Hans: (beginning to cry) He does not understand much German, Helmet.
(The bangs on the door become louder. Aki is still blindly groping for his glasses, Helmet looks with painful dread at the new Toyota, the car seems to be grinning back at him.)
Helmet: Hans! DO somethink quick! They are here to see the new Jetta!
(Hans begins to wail in fear, frozen to the wall, pulling his white lab coat over his head.
Hans: We'll be working at Messerschmitt next!
Helmet: What's wrong mit you? Messerschmitt is no longer in business.
Hans: Vhat you t'ink I am tellink you?
Helmet grabs Aki and smashes his face into the Toyota front grill, he twists the Japanese into pretzel shapes, turning and pulling and pushing until the grill is opened more and the bumper falls off and the Toyota emblem has become the Volkswagen double V.
As the door is finally opened and the top brass from Volkswagen file in to view the newest Jetta, Aki, still clutching the grill while being pulled away by Helmet, distorts it into a deeper opening. The bosses all smile and compliment Helmet. He tosses Aki into a corner. Hans breaths a sigh of relief.)
Aki: Arigato.
(The bosses look quizzically at Helmet.)
Helmet: Secret project, boss.
The Bosses: (in unison) Ah, so.
(Hans puts on Aki's glasses and admires the car in the wrong direction.)

Toyowagen Coretta

Volksota Jerolla

Friday, June 17, 2005

Wally Opal as Attorney General

Wally Opal says the system is NOT soft. He is the ex judge who is now in power over all our courts in BC as Attorney General. Mr. Opal says the system is working just fine when compared to others around the world, he says our PERCEPTIONS are wrong about the system. The trouble is, when you've had your car ripped off you don't care about the rest of the world. The trouble is the drug dealer standing in front of your business is from somewhere else in the world and he stays there day after day after day. Even while being arrested day after day after day. The police continually voice their frustration at the courts.
Well, some believe that a judge is about the last person who should be in charge of our court system. Many citizens believe that judges are actually responsible for much of the ongoing crime in our immediate world by being totally sympathetic to the perpetrator and UNsympathetic to the victims!. One car thief was still being released after his 105th conviction for thieving! We KNOW that the drug dealers walk back to their corners within hours of being arrested. These are those heroin and crystal meth dealers who are destroying young girls and children. One had 35 convictions for hard core drugs and STILL got a suspended sentence. Does THAT judge have a grip on reality?
Some believe judges are about as far removed from real society as they can be when it comes to the crime wave in our province. Our perceptions are not wrong about the criminals that affect every one of us and who are spoiling the lives of the law abiding people.
I believe Mr. Opal will initiate endless studies of why these poor bad guys do their crimes without any real action to stop them. It's time we became cruel to criminals and fair to the victims of their crimes.
We need someone who is tuned in to do that.
Ex judges don't qualify.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Microsoft, piracy and freedom of speech

Wasn't Micosoft the first corporation to complain about software piracy in China? We're losing millions they said? China doesn't comply with international copyright law they complained, everyone's copying our software, etc etc ad nauseum.
Are they fueling millions of new web users to continue violating Microsoft copyrights by limiting free speech on their China based web portal? Making these new users angry? CENSORING language such as 'democracy' and 'freedom' because the Chinese mandarines in power consider these words as profanity? Why does anyone from a free and democratic country WANT to do business with these oppressive people? Money.
My god, what passion for money to abandon all the freedoms that the United States has given Microsoft to become the world's leading software company! Talk about deserting your own beliefs.
Blogs are emerging as the very essence of world freedom to say what we want, when we want, about what we want. It was the web users who told the world what was really happening during Tianamin Square. Before the Chinese rulers shut them down and realised what the power of the web was. Microsoft, by allowing censorship and bending to the ridiculous demands of a backward Communism government, is bending the very precepts of Democracy.
They deserve all the software piracy they get.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Today in history - - - June 2

1924 - Congress granted US citizenship to all American Indians.

Big of 'em.
er ... shouldn't it have been the other way around?