Movie review - Lord of the Rings

Frodo, this lil innocent guy, has this wedding ring, see, and he wants ta marry this chick. He ain't sactly sure who she is or where she is or even what she looks like, but he keeps having this recurring image of her flaming vagina and it drives him on. Talk about subliminal sex! Bob Gandalf gives him a hand by having Band-aids available. I think Frodo gets the girl, not sure though 'cause I closed my eyes for the last 3 hours. Too scary. I like lookin' at Liv Ullman tho.